As a happily married father of two, I’m probably the last guy you would expect to write a column about the word “gay.” While I am occasionally happily excited, merry, exuberant or lively, I am not at all gay as the term is most frequently applied today.
Even so, as a writer and a communications consultant, somebody has to say something about the misuse and abuse of this word.
I have lots of opportunity to listen to young people speaking, and I’ve noticed that anything that is negative, distasteful, inoperative, offbeat, poorly executed or un-cool is instantly labeled “gay.”
My first problem with this is that it’s a completely inappropriate personification. In other words, none of the objects that “gay” is being used to describe can possibly be described in human terms. An example would be if I were to say, “That car is so sympathetic.” A car can’t be sympathetic any more than it can be gay. It’s the same with a piece of bad music, a bad haircut, or a broken X-Box. As much as the inanimate things of this world may entertain or disappoint us, they’ll just never obtain human characteristics, like a sexual orientation.
My second problem with this whole thing is that no matter how you feel about the gay lifestyle, I think the current use of the word to describe all things negative in casual conversation verges upon persecution. What would our reaction be if we all pointed at life’s negatives and described them the terms of religion, race, gender, or your last name?
I know many people differentiate the gay orientation from religion, race and gender out of the belief that being so is a personal choice, rather than something you’re born with or born into like religion, race, gender or a name. That’s a red herring though because no matter how people obtain their sexual orientations, the simple fact is that many people are indeed gay. Slapping everything negative in the world with the “gay” label can do nothing but hurt.
Don’t really care? I can’t think of any credible religion, creed or code of ethics that encourages active linguistic persecution. When one of our kids lets the world know that something he or she finds distasteful is “gay,” a certain percentage of the people possibly within earshot are going to be hurt. At least be aware of it.
If you want to turn this into an argument or debate about homosexuality or about political correctness run amok, you are deliberately missing the point. I vigorously defend a person’s right to misuse the word, and to not support lifestyles or politics they oppose.
My thesis however is simply that by using language as a weapon in this way, the rest of your arguments on this topic may well be lost. But most importantly, you also may be hurting a classmate, co-worker, friend, or relative in a way you may have never intended.
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